Mass Effect: Combat Stockings
by quantumparadigm
Summary: Mass Effect Christmas special! Ashley decides that the Normandy is going to celebrate Christmas, Williams style - and Shepard and Kaidan are caught in the middle. One shot.


**A Christmas special! Merry Christmas everyone!**

**And now, the preface: I thought it would be kind of neat to do a Christmas special, a la Doctor Who. Enjoy!**

**Mass Effect: Combat Stockings**

Ashley slumped down across from Alenko on the bench, startling him and therefore causing him to lose the kill he'd so carefully planned. He grumbled as she tapped her hands on the table in a rapid beat. His quarry had vanished in the momentary lapse. _Sonofabitch__._ He resumed his search, hoping that the Gunnery Chief was simply there to eat a meal and not pester him.

Ashe's fingers wiggled into his display, and Alenko cut the comm. and logged off. No such luck. She'd never let him play if she really wanted his attention. And since he was off duty, he couldn't pull rank on her and tell her to snap to it. She'd only arch an eyebrow and give him the finger.

"What'cha doing, LT?" she quirked her lips, amused.

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Playing a video game."

Ashe gave an exaggerated sigh. "Playin' games won't get you the girl."

He ignored her jab. She wasn't a geek. He already knew that he wasn't the type of guy that she'd go for - nor did he really want to be. While the Chief was awesome in her own way, she was also young. He preferred someone slightly more feminine with a bit more experience. And a bit more nerd.

Alenko opened his mouth to retaliate right as Shepard rounded the corner. He forgot what he was about to say, his attention captured by the Commander's progress across the deck. Her omni lit up as she rapidly navigated displays, paying just enough attention to her surroundings to not knock anyone over.

Ashley's hand waved in front of his face as Shepard vanished behind the small wall that blocked the entrance to her office. "Earth to LT! Better catch yourself before you drool."

Alenko made a face at her. "I wasn't drooling."

"That's why I said _before_," she sighed. "Anyway, I had a point. While coming up her to harass your geeky ass is tons of laughs, I wanted to know what the protocol was."

After a few moments of silence, he tilted his head to the side, "Protocol for...?"

"Christmas!" she stated, giving her head a slight toss as if to suggest he was crazy for not catching on.

"We should be docking at the Citadel within the next day, so if you have any packages that have arrived for you, the Alliance will have them in -" Alenko started to explain, but Ashley cut him off.

"No no no. I meant for celebrating. On the ship." She smacked him on his temple.

"Oh," he rubbed his chin and delivered a swift kick under the table at the same time. Ash grunted. "You mean like a Christmas party."

"I know it's only a human holiday, but there are plenty of us on the ship. So I got _this_," she whipped out a flat disc, "but I can't get the damn thing to _work__._"

She handed the disc over to him, and he flipped it between his fingers. "What's it supposed to do when working?"

"Make a tree."

Alenko's gaze flicked towards the Chief and settled back onto this disc. "Do you have stockings?"

"We have some extra combat boots."

Alenko shrugged and nodded. "Those could work. With some ribbon."

Ashley looked at him out of the corner of her a eye, a slight grin on her face. "Are you _in_, LT?"

Alenko removed the disc from his omni-tool, having successfully diagnosed that Ashley simply hadn't charged it, and turned it on. A holographic tree complete with lights and decorative balls appeared, standing about a three feet high. Williams clapped with joy, beaming at him.

"I knew your nerdyness would come in handy one day."

"I'm touched."

Ashley stood up and leaned across the table at him. "I'll be back in five minutes. Don't go anywhere." With that, she vanished around the wall of the mess. The slow whir of the elevator activating as it trudged its way up filled the air. He drummed his fingers on the table, unsure as to exactly what he'd gotten himself into.

His omni beeped, announcing an incoming message. He activated the display and clicked the messenger icon.

_What __the __hell __is __the __Chief __up __to__?_ It was from Shepard. The blinking indicator on the right told him she was waiting for his reply.

_Christmas__party__._ He hit send, unsure what else to say about it since he didn't really know much else. He hadn't been down in the cargo bay recently, but Ash had come back from Arcturus last week with quite a few boxes.

_Uh __oh__._ (...) _She __doesn__'__t __have __stockings__, __does __she__?_

He half grinned, half grimaced as he typed out his response. _I __may __have __given __her __that __idea__._

_You__'__re __getting __coal__._

He chuckled. _Better __than __a __boot __full __of __thorian __ooze__._

_Oh __God__, __don__'__t __remind __me__. __Is __she __still __out __there__?_

_No__, __she __told __me __to __wait __and __that __she__'__d __be __right __back__._

He waited for a response, but instead heard a sharp, "Kssst!" He looked up to see Shepard peaking around the corner. She glanced about conspiratorially. He copied her, checking the entrance to the med-bay and the blind spot around the corner. He signalled the all clear. She grinned. "I could hide you in my office!" she whispered just loud enough to be heard.

The elevator roared to life. Alenko jumped from his seat and whispered back, "You have a deal!"

Shepard reached out a hand, motioning him to move faster. The elevator settled into place just as he reached the corner. Shepard grabbed his arm and yanked him into her office, slamming the button to shut the door. He moved closer to her private shower, further from the door. Shepard's quarters didn't offer up a lot of hiding places. If Williams invaded, they were screwed.

Shepard strode to her computer. Alenko peered across the room, curious. The display was hidden from view. "What are you doing?" he whispered, half-convinced that Ashley could hear him if he spoke aloud.

She peaked over her shoulder at him. "Hacking the mess cameras." She returned her gaze to the vid-screen. "You have _got_ to see this."

Alenko pondered the door before approaching Shepard's work-station. The display revealed an irritated-yet-amused Ashley storming the mess, boxes in hand. She dropped them on the table and strode to the exact middle of the room and pivoted around slowly, analyzing her options. Stairs leading up to deck one, med-bay and the sleeper pods were all dismissed before she honed her gaze on the entrance to Shepard's quarters. With confidence, she marched straight up to the Commander's door and punched the button.

Shepard and Kaidan fixed their gazes on the door as it chimed.

"My bed's too low to the ground for you to hide under it," she stated.

"We're screwed," he replied, and nudged her with the back of his hand towards the door. She gave him a disparaging look over her shoulder as she walked slowly towards the door. Her hands frantically motioned for Alenko to move his ass out of sight.

"I'm not wearing skirts you can hide behind, either," she teased.

Alenko glared at her, but followed her to the door, standing just off to the side - hopefully out of sight from Ashley. Shepard shared a bolstering look with him before answering the door. She closed the space as the door slid open, resting a hand on the frame, effectively blocking the Chief from entering.

"Where's the LT?" Ashley demanded matter-of-factly. She knew what they were up to and was willing to play the game.

Shepard drummed a finger against her chin. "You know, last I saw, he was sitting at the table in the mess. With you. If you're playing hide and seek, it's cheating to ask for help."

Alenko covered his mouth, fighting the urge to snicker. "Haha, Commander. I know he's in here."

"I can't comment on whether Alenko is or is not in my quarters."

"We already know he is."

"Or isn't," Shepard suggested, shrugging as if to say _who __knows__?_ Silence filled the room as the two women stared each other down. "Rules are rules, Chief."

"All right, all right," Ash said. "If he's not in here, I guess _you_ won't mind if I just stick around for a while. You know, work on some girl chat. We've got a _lot_ of catching up to do." Shepard's eyes narrowed ever so slightly and her back straightened the barest hint of an inch. "Let's talk about _boys_." Shepard's hand slid down a few inches along the frame.

Alenko quietly shuffled backwards along the wall. Shepard was gearing up for something, and he wanted to give her plenty of space. He didn't slide too far, however, as the current topic was intriguing. He'd never specifically said anything to Shepard, nor she to him, but he hadn't exactly denied anything either. He often had thoughts about the Commander he knew he shouldn't, but he could never quite seem to stop himself.

"What about boys?" Shepard managed to make that sound almost a threat.

"Well, I've been harboring a crush for a while now on this marine I met last time we docked-"

"Private Winters."

"Yes, Winters," Ash sighed. "_But_, I realized that he's _all_ we've talked about the past few nights. So _I_ thought we should get back to our discussion about a certain Lieutenant Al-AAALP!" Ashley yelped as Shepard's hand smacked over her mouth, preventing her from uttering more words.

"Name your terms."

"Mmmph um mmm-mn," Ash mumbled into Shepard's hand. Shepard slowly removed her fingers from the Chief's mouth. "Hand him over," she repeated.

Shepard glanced at Alenko, shattering any notion that she might have actually been telling the truth about his presence. He shook his head.

"No can do, Chief."

"Uh huh." He could just picture the Chief standing there with her arms crossed, one eyebrow arched coolly as she negotiated with the Commander.

"Just out of curiosity, why do you want him so bad?" Shepard asked. She leaned against the door-frame, crossing one leg lazily over the other.

Alenko heard Ashley's boots scuffle on the floor as she shifted her stance. "He was supposed to help me set everything up. You know, names on boots, tree tastefully placed, a few lights here and there. Nothing extravagant, but more work than one woman should do alone. _Especially_ since it's Christmas Eve."

Shepard straightened. "Oh, well if that's all, he'll be out in five minutes. Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it."

Shepard moved to shut the door, but Ash stuck her hand across the sensor. "_But_ only if you come, too."

Shepard hit the button to shut the door. "Fine," she said as it whisked shut.

Alenko crossed his arms in mock sternness. "I think it's time for some of that bootleg alcohol Ash made a while back," she grumbled.

"You had ample opportunity to turn me in," he replied, allowing a small gin to creep across his face.

"It wouldn't exactly be cool of me to offer to hide you then promptly hand you over," she said. "Besides, you could have turned yourself in."

"Touche."

She grinned at him, and he smiled back at her. Her eyes sparkled a deep blue that reminded him of the oceans back on Earth.

"So," she said, breaking eye contact, "what do you want that's roughly combat boot sized?"

He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn't really anticipated the question, despite all the talk about Christmas boots and decorations.

"'Cause I already got you this _thing_, but I wasn't sure I should give it to you."

"How specific of you," he teased.

She made a face and poked him in the ribs. "It's a video game. Joker told me you didn't have it."

"RPG or first person shooter?"

"Uh...," she consulted her omi-tool really fast, whizzing through the displays too fast for Alenko to follow backwards. "RPG."

"Cool."

"Are you going to get me anything?" she asked, her voice oddly soft.

"I have an idea."

She nodded slowly, raising her eyebrows. "And...?"

"I was thinking," he began, taking a careful step closer to the threshold, and therefore Shepard, "perhaps this cup I saw you looking at once."

Her eyes narrowed as Alenko planted himself between her and the door.

"It's the funniest thing, actually," he smiled deviously, tapping his chin with a finger. "It was the last time we were at the Citadel... so about 5 weeks ago? We were on shore leave, free to explore, for a few days. I had a few packages to send out to my Mom, and Joker asked me to pick something up for him. I was meandering through Zakera ward when I caught a glimpse of you outside this store... what was it called?"

Shepard begrudgingly provided the answer. "Galactic Trek."

"Right. Anyway, my curiosity was piqued. It's not the kind of store I pictured you in. I mean, I knew you were a _tech_ geek, but I never figured you for a _trekkie_." Shepard opened her mouth, but Alenko held up a finger to quiet her interjection. "I saw you pick up this _really_ interesting mug."

"The -"

"Ah," he interrupted her. "Not the normal mug with the logo on it, but the _other_ one. You know which one I'm talking about, right?"

Shepard nodded. Her cheeks tinged red as cherries. "The comm. badge shaped mug."

"That's the one."

"You didn't."

"I did," he grinned at her, and hit the button to open the door.

"Open door means get your asses out here," Ashley hollered from the mess hall.

Shepard couldn't contain her smile. It spilled across her face, lighting up the room. Warmth bloomed in his chest at the sight, because he'd caused that. He found he rather liked being the person responsible for Shepard's warm smile.

"Better hurry up before I throw mistletoe at you two!"

Shepard shot him a devious smirk. "Mistletoe's a fire hazard!" she called out as they rounded the corner...

… and were confronted with a mess of decorations that halted them right in their steps. Ashley's face was covered in glitter, streamers and ribbon littered the floor, and a pile of paper sat in front of her, hacked to pieces. She held up one of the torn remnants, and Alenko shared a confused glance with Shepard. "It's a snowflake," she stated, before dipping it into some goopy glitter glue. "We're doing Christmas WIlliams style. Take a hat."

She tossed red santa hats at the two marines. Shepard and Alenko plopped themselves on the bench, shoulders bumping together, as they dove into the decorations. Alenko smiled inwardly to himself. This was going to be a fantastic Christmas.

**Merry Christmas everyone! :) I hope everyone's holiday was as awesome as mine! Spending time with the in-laws and little sister-in-law. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas vacation :)**


End file.
